An Incomplete and Growing List of Synonyms for “Social Distancing”

VERBS

Howie Mandeling

Maintaining a polite fart radius

Unfriending

Expansive personal spacing

Becoming the center of your own, depressing universe

Conscientious hermiting

Shuttering Mervin’s room

Antisocial wingspanning

Blockading

Holy Ghosting

Territorial wolverining

Hula hooping

NOUNS

Danger bubble

The Lust Belt

The Unfriend Zone

Isolation

Tantric friendship

Invisible holding cell

Big backyard

Invisible orb of lonely hope

Hibernation

Oversized chastity belt

Incel at a school dance

Buffering

New York Block Exchange

Department store Christmas tree

Agoraphobia

Hysteria box

Luigi’s Invincibility star