An {Incomplete and Growing List} of Songs We Know Are Good, But Can No Longer Stand

Zach Straus

Where Is My Mind by The Pixies (thanks, Fight Club fans)
Most Rolling Stones Songs (thanks, Dads)
Swimming Pools (Drank) by Kendrick Lamar (thanks, white college kids)
I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie (thanks, coffeeshops)
Working for the Weekend by Loverboy (thanks, bad memories)
Toxic by Britney Spears (thanks, ex-lover)

Erin Vail

Bohemian Rhapsody was irreparably damaged by the Suicide Squad trailer AND its inclusion in the movie.

Kelaine Conochan

I Can See Clearly Now (thanks clever 4th grade enemies who added “Kelaine is gone”)
Barracuda (thanks Sarah Palin)
1999 (thanks actual passage of time)
I Believe I Can Fly (thanks R. Kelly’s oppressive, predatory sex cult)

Josh Bard

I have a history of hating “Dont Stop Believin’” because its a shit song that always means the thing you are enjoying is about to end.

And if you want a new take/song: Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA – It is a great song but drives me crazy because 90% of the people don’t understand that it is a protest song and not a celebration of the US.

Jillian Conochan

Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Jovi (thanks, last call at Jersey Shore bars)
Apache (Jump on It) by The Sugarhill Gang (thanks, suburban white kids imitating Will Smith (or maybe just Will Smith))
Angel by Sarah McLachlan (thanks, gruesome SPCA commercials)
Come on Feel the Noise by Quiet Riot (thanks, actual lyrics being “Cum on feel the noize”)
Shape of You by Ed Sheeran (thanks, every radio station ever)
We Built This City by Starship (thanks, but this requires no explanation)
Milkshake by Kelis (thanks, demon I can’t unhear harmonizing the chorus)
Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band (thanks, )
Werewolves in London by Warren Zevon (thanks, Halloween); also accepted (thanks, Kid Rock)
Baby I Love Your Way by Blue Mountain* (thanks, 8th grade crush witnessing my evidently not-so-private performance)
*Does not apply to original by Peter Frampton

Dennis Mersmann

Jamie by Weezer (thanks, high school girlfriend whose name isn’t even Jamie)
Carol of the Bells (thanks, Mannheim Steamroller)

Nicole Lewis

okay! I had to sit on this for a while since my go-to is normally Blackbird but I already called it out in my last piece lol
Float On by Modest Mouse (because I decided that it and Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand were competing for popularity, and I chose the latter)
any banjo-heavy Mumford and Sons song (because we get it. You’re hipsters.)
Enter Sandman, One, Master of Puppets, and For Whom the Bell Tolls, by Metallica (because REALLY? You’re gonna make me sit through up to TWO FULL MINUTES of self-indulgent instrumentals, and then when the lyrics start, they’re not even worth it?? GTFO)
Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day & Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park (because both had topped my selections for favorite songs off their respective albums, and then they just got horribly, horribly played out — though I appreciate the “Go wake up Billie Joe” meme)

Jay Kasten

If only because of this self-sentenced prison, I believe we all know my submission: The Year 3000 by the Jonas Brothers

Dennis Mersmann, again

Oh shit we almost left out Seven Nation Army (thanks, unoriginal student sections at collegiate sporting events)