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You ever get home from a date, and it went so well and you just have to tell someone about it? It rarely happens to me, but today was a spectacular first date! One of those that makes you feel like you’re in the early stages of a Hallmark movie. But, not one that airs in October).

Where do I even begin?

Janette is very smart and incredibly beautiful, and works as a dental hygienist!

We met online, but my friends assure me that the whole “met online” stigma is in the past! Usually, I am a bit apprehensive and too much inside my own head, but we shared an immediate connection, and traditional small talk blossomed into legitimate conversation. Before I knew it, we were deep into our shared interests, likes and dislikes, and medical histories.

To me, good dates are like good interviews.

If you can get the other person to do most of the talking, you’ve cracked the code! She asked lots of questions about me, and while it occasionally felt a bit clinical, it was nice to have someone else drive the conversation.

My friends say that I need to realize that I am good enough for attractive, successful, funny women like Janette. They remind me that I am great on paper and even better in person. I made sure to steer the conversation in the way of some of my better features, talking about my job and obviously the health benefits, owning a condo in the city, and my affinity for travel. At least two of those things impressed her, leading her to chirp back with an enthusiastic, “You don’t say!” as she jotted it away in her file.

I don’t want to brag, but I think she was also pretty impressed by maturity and responsibility, taking the time to appreciate the attention to detail of nightly flossing!

You go on enough first dates and you learn to read the non-verbal signs too. Things like pushing her hair back behind her ear and finding ways to make little physical connections, like touching my shoulder.

I think I mentioned this earlier, but it’s really cool to be dating your dental hygienist.

We reminisced about wearing braces as kids, talked about our favorite no-no foods, took some X-ray selfies, and listened to the local easy listening radio station. I rarely find anyone else who still tolerates the hits of the 80s, 90s, and today, but those great tunes were what Janette had picked especially for me. I think Sting is the perfect vocalist for any good date.

Janette was effusive with positive reinforcement and praise, which is so rare on a first date, or any date for that matter. Most women try to hide any real feelings and play emotional games, but this was different. At the end of the hour, she gave me her card with her number and said she wanted to see me again soon. I mean, duhhhh!

I won’t lie, it was one of the more expensive first dates I’ve been on, but insurance will end up paying for most of it. She asked me to leave her a positive note on ZocDoc, which I’ll do in 1 to 3 days, and absolutely include some light negs.

I’m not sure if it’s the butterflies in my tummy or the flouride treatment on my teeth†, but I won’t be able to eat for at least an hour! Plus my mouth is still a little numb, but Dr. Evans says that should go away by noon.

Josh Bard

Josh Bard is a guy. A sports guy, an ideas guy, a wise guy, a funny guy, a Boston guy, and sometimes THAT guy. Never been a Guy Fieri guy, though.

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