Prompt Images
In 2015, I had one of those early career revelations. I was not particularly happy at my job, and I could either sink into the rhythm and not care, or I could get going. So, three years past graduation, I decided to move to Los Angeles and join the entertainment industry. I wasn’t sure yet in what capacity, but with a degree in marketing and a concentration in advertising and graphic design, I figured that was a good enough direction.
I found a job opening online for a role as Social Media Coordinator at Nickelodeon Animation Studio. At the time, this job felt like a dream role, where I could apply what I learned from my major and work experience at a company I’d admired and wanted to be part of since I was first old enough to watch TV.
I applied!
I was rejected. Which was a huge bummer. What happened next, however, unfolded as one of the most obnoxious, aggravating, depressing, and hilarious hours of my life. Because I was not rejected in any conventional way. Instead, I was assaulted as a glitch in their HR system resulted in Nickelodeon sending me the same rejection email 12 times. One after another. Every few minutes.
This is what that does to a person.
The 12 Stages of Being Rejected by Nickelodeon
Stage 1: Depression (2:41 P.M.)
Well that sucks. I was really looking forward to this prospect. It was exciting, had me interested in this career path again. BRB—crying…
Stage 2: Anger (2:42 P.M.)
OK, rude. As if I wasn’t acutely aware of how unwanted I was from the first email, they sent a follow up email to insist that I know it’s a non-option. WTF I get it. Leave me alone.
Stage 3: Bargaining (2:44 P.M.)
Maybe I should email them back. Clearly something is going on over there to warrant these excessive emails. If I respond, pointing it out like some kind of hero, “Hey Nickelodeon looks like you’re having issues, and if you hire me I can help stop the issues.” That could work.
Stage 4: Denial (2:46 P.M.)
This can’t possibly be happening. I’m so qualified. They can’t reject me! I’ll bet they do want me, but some higher-up exec is controlling their actions, forcing them to reject me. Maybe that higher-up exec is an old friend from elementary school who I cut in the lunch line one time and has been holed up at my lifelong dream company, Nickelodeon Animation Studio, just waiting for the moment I apply to a position for which I’m perfectly qualified just to SHUT ME OUT!
And whoever’s behind these emails does want me, but they’re being forced to reject me against their will and want. Each email they send is an attempt at resolving their internal conflict, ripping off the Band-Aid again and again and again until it finally settles for them. It’s a defense mechanism, not a computer error! It might sound crazy but, seriously, consider the facts! Not only do I have the academic qualifications and experience, but I’m a Nick #fan4lyf! I mean look at how I used a hashtag with youthful spelling—HOW COULD THEY NOT WANT ME?
Stage 5: Acceptance (2:51 P.M.)
Well, it is what it is. It’s true what they say: If you love something, set it free. If it sends you five emails back-to-back to let you know it doesn’t want you, it was never really yours.
Stage 6: The Upward Turn (2:57 P.M.)
You know what? I’m going to be just fine. This is a down moment for sure, but I don’t need it to define me. And in fact, I will email them back, because, gosh dang it, I have value!
Stage 7: Reconstruction (2:58 P.M.)
It’s been 20 minutes of receiving these emails. The same news over and over and over again. This is a test from the universe. Perhaps each rejection I read is one step closer to regaining my sense of self, confidence, and mental clarity…
Stage 8: Depression 2 (Depressive Boogaloo) (3:23 P.M.)
This is hell.
Stage 9: Mania (3:23 P.M.)
Is this HELL???!!? WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?? Have I fallen into a Groundhog Day-esque pocket dimension where I’m forced to relive the same unfortunate news in a never ending loop?? I THINK SO.
Stage 10: Bargaining 2 (All Chips Are Down) (3:24 P.M.)
FREE ME. I WANT TO BE FREE. I DON’T WANT THIS JOB ANYMORE. I NEVER WANTED THE JOB, I PROMISE. JUST RELEASE ME FROM THIS DANTEAN NIGHTMARE.
Stage 11: Anger 2 (Fiery Rage) (3:26 P.M.)
OK. Seriously? WTF.
Stage 12: Mania 2 (Super Mania) (3:27 P.M.)
How can I be sure I ever even applied to this job at this point?? What day is today? What year is today? Does email even EXIST at this point on our primordial timeline?? Or are we and all we know just the imagined conjugations of a single-celled organism floating along in space? ALL OF THIS SEEMS MORE LIKELY THAN MY RECEIVING THIS SAME REJECTION EMAIL 12 TIMES.
Eventually they did follow up, about 2 hours later, claiming a computer error.
In any case, I was now back to square one. Bummertown, Bummsville. Population: me.
The next week I applied to a newly added position: IT Consultant.
Didn’t get that either.
Oh, and one last thing. To any Nickelodeon Animation Studio execs out there reading this:
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
Hello, I’d still love a job.
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